by Eileen Der Aris, Certified Young Adult Life Coach
I remember struggling with this term as a teen and young adult. My father always told me, “Confidence, Eileen, you have to have more confidence!” That sounds great, I thought, but HOW does one just gain more confidence? Sure, age and experience help but how about teens and young adults who need more time?
When young adults were asked, in a survey, “If you could wave a magic wand and change something about your yourself, what would it be?” Most of them answered that they wish they would feel more confident in themselves. Generation Z and Millennials were brought up receiving so much praise, some even criticize that there was too much praise. Yet, they still feel a lack of self-worth. So, what gives?
To believe in yourself, you first need to learn about yourself. No, you don’t need to become a self-help guru if that is not your thing, but you do need to gain some awareness.
- Figure out your values. What is most important to you? Sure, your friends, family, and dog are at the top of your list, but I am referring to what actually makes you tick. Is honesty very important to you? Does nature get you energized or does being professional encourage you? Maybe feeling in control gives you security? There is no right or wrong but knowing what floats your boat really gives you direction into who you are.
- Make a list of your best qualities. Come on, they’re in there. You know what they are, even if you have to fight those nagging mean voices in your head. Write down 10 wonderful qualities about yourself and hold onto them. This authenticity is tangible proof of who you are and will help you see what you actually like about yourself.
- Challenge your fears. When we practice questioning our fears and self-doubts, we can increase our self-esteem and confidence. Examples of these fears are that I am going to fail this test, my teacher doesn’t like me, people are established in their friend groups and won’t want any more, everyone knows what they want to do for a career and finally, I’m not good enough to apply for that job. Next time you think a negative thought pertaining to you, ask yourself, how true is that? Sometimes your fear is true, but most likely, it’s not and it truly digs away at any confidence you have.
Any worthwhile changes you make in your life take time and effort. By practicing these 3 easy steps, you will definitely see the difference in how you feel about yourself. It’s okay if you don’t believe them at first, just keep going while the power of suggestion and positivity work their magic!
With Warmth and Respect,
Eileen
Certified Life Coach for Young Adults